dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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