wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
