he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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