The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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