K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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