she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
