Ketchup is God's man juice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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