I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
