Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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