I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
