he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
