Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
