I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
