Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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