I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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