Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize