dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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