We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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