I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
