Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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