he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize