I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
