Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
