the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
