i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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