She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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