Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize