ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
