I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
