UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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