ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
