I queefed so loud it echoed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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