Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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