no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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