we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize