Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
