Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
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