Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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