Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
