he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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