the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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