Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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