bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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