If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize