Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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