Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
