What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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