did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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