If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
