who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize