Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
