what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
