Cold hands, warm shart.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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