How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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