OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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