he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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