Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
