Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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