Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
