He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
