Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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