Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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