David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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