So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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