Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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