I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
