I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My feet surprised me
Randomize
