you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
