you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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