Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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