So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A+ Viking dick
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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