I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
