So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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