Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
