I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
